--Some memories from LGH3's first 450 runs--

#1 Just for the record: Milan 19: Ferney 7: Geneva 4: Zurich 2: Bern 2. 34 VIRGINS made history.

#5 Electric Orgasm didn’t RUN because Danish Pastry had a hernia!! Rid’m down couldn’t run so chaperoned.

#24 ... Late start-20kms to take the car to the beer stop–just as well because Hash Brown arrived late-six false trails were all checked before the pack found the real TRAILS–ugh lots of SHIGGY, down a ravine; across a stream, through the undergrowth and onto a freshly planted field. Skirting the perimeter–hashers never trample on young plants! Likk’mm and Sign Post were off on the longest trail while the pack took the SHORT-CUT–nevertheless the FRB’s were way ahead and lost the trail because they climbed the hill instead of respecting the obsure HOLD. Round another hill–skirting freshly ploughed fields and down another ravine–across another stream and straight into a SWAMP. There were HOUNDS thrashing their way across more freshly planted fields looking for the WHITE BLOBS–quite scarce and faded by the night’s frost. Responding to accusations of waste (10 kilos of FLOUR to set a trail) Iron Lady was skimping on the size of the blobs–then PegLeg spotted one and with a gleeful ON-ON had the PACK on his heels–over the next hump and a short SPRINT to the beerstop. Usual refreshments in a lovely clearing on a day that resembled early summer. CHECKING for the trail the pack set off in opposite directions only to meet up at the bottom of the next hill, skirt another creek, cross a swiss garden-into the village of Dardagny...

#40 Wrong Way and Dutch Treat’s farewell. Ample time to play on the giant slide in Meyrin park. Residence Voltaire residents very disturbed by HASH HYMN and DOWN-DOWN’s. Splatty Patty. MONDAY nights are really starting to take off. Thumbs Up, Well Oiled and Father Timeless recorded as among the FRBs.

#41 Water, water everywhere but not a drop to drink! Typical Deep Throat hash. Lot’s of Cavebears. Worth a few WHINES-lots of rounded rocks in the river bed-don’t forget the hash frogs, stinging nettles and Idlevice.

#50 Lost count of the river crossings-highlight was PegLeg doing underwater pressups on a log!

#52 Tequila for the FRB’s-a Nairobi HHH tradition suggested by Bawdy Tail RENAMED Fartin Fuehrer.

Editor’s note: Kiwis are taught that Nairobi is in Africa and that tequila is drunk in Mexico. Will those Yanks and Brits ever get it right.!

#55 Good run Dictator. How much did you get for advertising the aussie BEER STOP? Cunnilinguist

#69 What a lot of stairs there are in the Old Town! We must have done them all. Deep Throat

#79 Loosing my VIRGINITY was better than I had expected. Hares were Full Term & Dry Dreamer.

#83 An intellectual run. FALSE trails built on false trails-impossible to outwit hares-at least for me. Tight Ass

#101 Blody, long; f*cking, hot run. Forest Dump. Fortunately I got a taxi. Willie Wobler. It was worth it. Snail.

#138 Marks in flour & polenta on snow over ankles. Beer stop in Charly’s pub. Champagne down-downs.

#139 A near-disaster which turned into a great hash. A near-disaster because advertised hare Iron Lady had bronchitis and was not fit to set the trail. Success because the well-tried team of SignPost and Deep Throat laid a trail up to their usual standard. Ozitalia CAME-A-LATE without sunglasses!

#142 The usual energetic leg-stretcher from Tightass took the pack on a tour.... The BEERMEISTER not having shown up again meant that Full Term’s emergency BEER stash had to be raided. This dangerous operation resulted in at least one serious injury-Cunnilinguist almost severed a finger and subsequently left a TRAIL of blood over everything. Perhaps screw-top BEER bottles should carry a government health warning. Wellington graciously came to the rescue, pouring DOWN-DOWNS for the VIRGIN, HARE and the PACK.

#162 Good job, a few more hashes like this and I’ll start to get into condition..Woody

#167 An excellent run in true “Woods” style with the only possible short-cut going straight up a 60 degree slippery grass slope so that those attempting it could be rewarded by ending up back at the bottom. We even had a “Womble” at the beer stop. Wellington. Je me suis occupe du “Beer Stop” et je suis devenu “HerculesPoirot”!

#185 I cross the same river twice for a good reason. A true masochist. Cump Ass. IWIN didn’t want this one!

#191 Blody dark weather. Very cold time of day. Who did Sarah-cum-lately and Crash’n Carry have sex with? We don’t know... was it the floored pasta? Captain Sensible

#200 Back to the future! Nr 1 to Nr 200. This time with golf. See you here again at Nr 500. Likk’mm

#216 Started badly-Herpes got his car stuck in the UN car park and failed to meet Julie Andrews at the bus stop.TinTin and Cunnilinguist have had haircuts so their ears must have been jolly cold. For International Women’s Day Iron Lady gave the men an Italian cake on behalf of the women. The logic of this escapes Julie Andrews (the SCRIBE). Surely they should have given US something There were three men and nine women. This is an improvement on the Geneva average of 1:10. Full marks to Herpes for having a red-wine-coloured carpet which meant that Julie Andrews had to aim for the table-cloth instead, leaving a purple blotch that even Stainless couldn’t remove. WalkyTalky decided to become the HASHHELPER and tidied up around us with admirable efficiency. Submarine gave us a fine demonstration of clicking her feet. Woody turned up very late-was caught chatting up two unknown women . Yummy greek food. Greek dancing to music by Yanni.

#233 Best LGH3 trail I have ever run. Bwana (hared with Rough Knight). Good fun, graced with the “good” company from Milan, Fiji, Lyon, Lausanne and of course just a few regular Geneva hashers Won Hung Low

#237 Scarlett’s designer rain cape (it was drizzling rain at the start). Long gaps between blobs-it was a good job Pop-up has a loud ON-ON! Adventurous shortcuts by Wellington & Pop-up (met crocodiles) and by Hubbly Bubbly & Snow Queen (met the dreaded Jura sucking shiggy).

#287 Oh isn’t it lovely running when it’s light. It’s so nice to be able to see where you’re going. It’s so much more fun when it’s warm....and so on, ad nauseum, well it is the first run of spring I suppose. Duck’s Arse, La Mayonnaise, Electric Orgasm, etc. Body Language and Donkey Dong having flagrant hash sex in the car park. Onleft’s last hash-noted that she didn’t use the Geneva ladies method of coming during SWING LOW-each to their own I suppose. They obviously do it differently down south. Pooh Bear continued to be an FRB even though there were no swede’s in sight to impress (alas!). After the HARE’s dire warnings at the second HOLD most of the runners converted to walkers and WIMPED out of running through the bramble-infected woods. Iron Lady and Julie Andrews took the alternative strategy of running down the walkers route!

#304 Great run HandJob. Biggest house I have ever seen with and most food ever had on a hash Forest Dump.

#307 Hareless and Sweet Charity seen at the opening ceremony. ON-ON of orange slices and watermelon provided by Mr.&Mrs.Doggy Fashion. More commonly recognized as MA and PA XMAS.

#313-314-315 Atypical Lac Leman bike hash Highlander arrived at 4pm, the appointed meeting time, to find nobody there (not even the hare). By 5:30pm there were two hares-Kaptain Kardiak and Alpine Climax and about 3 others, but by 6:15ish we were rolling along streets cleared of traffic by a grateful Geneva city council. A superb trail was laid by live hare Julie Andrews.... with Deep Throat, Rollover, Boomerang and Julie Andrews there was always going to be singing....Surprise turns included Whineskin (Walkabout’s son) leading in a complete rendition of “There’s a hole in my bucket” and an uncharacteristically sheepish version of “A Frenchman went to the lavatory” (but then we were in France, darling)..ask editor for full version-3 pages!

#358 White Flasher helped lay the trail but obviously didn’t like the look of it because he disappeared before the start. After a “warm-up” FATHER ABRAHAM taken at breakneck speed by Sexposure, Herpes briefed the PACK. “We were a bit short of time so there is no flour between the checkpoints. Just cast around and the first arrow you find within half a mile is ON”. He was right. Although the TRAIL marks were sparse the BACKMARKING was excellent because Sputnik joined the PACK in time to be too late for the BEER STOP.

#379 Snow Bunny, RELIGIOUS ADVISOR, provided the fine weather to cool down the hounds. An unmarked hold under a tree so that the wimpy hounds did not get wet. TinTin looked after the rear of the pack the entire time – suffering from ill effects of celebrating some odd sport with a white and black ball til the wee hours of the morning. Where are his priorities? With hashing or some strange white and black ball game? Body Language

#382 The trail was a good long one with plenty of up and down, so by the time the PACK reached the BEERSTOP it was more than welcome. French Clutch turned up in Ever-Ready’s car. Able Semen proved the invigorating power of beer by taking off as FRB followed closely by Submarine.

#384 Cheerful circle which concluded with two NAMINGS. Henceforth Andrea Young shall be known as Clodhopper while Mozart becomes Dog of the Hare. Super feast prepared by Sex Club and Duck’s Arse.

#386 Kaptain Kardiak stumbled on the bank of the River Arve, gashed a knee, and was an FRB at the next HOLD. Quite shocked by the sight when the PACK commented about the blood pouring down his leg he raced off towards the start for his scooter to ride to the hospital. Deodorant took over-beat him to his scooter- Wanderbra ran off to get Deep Throat who was playing Hareless with the BEER CAR. By the time that the pack arrived at Najib’s apartment KK was sipping cool beer on the terrace and proudly displaying a bandaged knee.

#405 Nyon was the scene of our very first Monday run, way back in the mists of prehistory, when Forest Dump led a small intrepid pack through the dark countryside in pouring rain (no flour left) to a warm welcome at his house. Now Snow Bunny led a slightly larger pack through the streets of Nyon in drizzling rain (no flour left). Quite appropriate really.Tightarse even raised the enthusiasm of some to do the runners loop before the beerstop.

#418 Alzheimer poured beer into non-transparent plastic cups. Deodorant was spotted mixing russian vodka and orange. Sputnik confessed to prefering fast cars.. to what? Just the right amount of moonlight KK.

#434 The Saleve is always a spectacular place to hash, and on this run we had spectacular weather to go with it. The hares had SNOW while LAYING then finished in Sunshine. The PACK CIRCLED up in SUN, then in quick succession had RAIN, SNOW, THUNDER and HAIL. A BLIZZARD after the BEERSTOP and finished the RUN in sunshine again: Turdish Delight, Twinkletoes, La Pipe and Dizzie thawed out over hot chocolate much to the amusement of the locals.

#437 Along nice bits of shiggy by the side of a very full river. Vegemite sandwiches and Fosters beer and Matilda never stopped waltzing. Feastor CHECKED the circle. Lights Out checked Tall and Dark in the Car Park. Sputnik checked the FALSIES and Fungus attempted to imitate a kangaroo. Jack Rabbit turned up at the CIRCLE for the aussie BEER. A memorable ANZAC Alzheimer. Winner of the Toss the Coin game was IWIN.

[June 2001]