5th French Nash Hash, Apt - Luberon 
(April 5 - 7, 2002)

Hello 5FNH Participants

Coming on Padre's heels was indeed a difficult act to follow. But, as with all hashing challenges, it seems to just take a few ingredients and some masterful blending to provide the canvas on which veteran and virgin hashers alike are able to paint their FUN.

Thanks to all who joined in to mark yet one more check to the French Nash Hash roadmap. We look forward to hashing with you all again on the trails of the 6th French Nash Hash.

OnOn

Contents

• Organizing Team
• French Nash Hash History
• 5th French Nash Hash photos
• Run Report
• Trail-setting memories
• Hash Count reports and participant info

5th French Nash Hash Organizing Team

An after-hash Tshirt has been designed and is available to all participants, giving them something to show their future grandchildren as they recall their short jog in the beautiful Luberon in the sunshine etc etc etc

This high-quality colour item is available for 13,50 Euros, subject to there being enough orders. Some of you have already expressed an interest, so all you have to do is send the money, to

Martin Westmoreland
Le Petit Bosquet D
18 Avenue du Petit Bosquet
13012 MARSEILLE
France

The sooner the better, as I won't launch the order until I have the money from you all...

French Nash Hash History

5^th French National HASH Photos, 2002

Take a look at : 

• http://photos.yahoo.com/bc/pml3pml3/lst?&.dir=/French+NH+2002
  (courtesy of Higgins), and
• http://www.hugo.net/~hhh/pics/french_nashhash02/page_01.htm
  (courtesy of Alzheimer)

The Official 5^th French National HASH Run(s) Report, 2002

'An Educational Trip around the Luberon'

Apologies for the missing 'down-downs' and correct names. I am working from a foggy memory. Here goes anyway:

Ever had that nostalgic feeling as you start the car and move off from a great gathering of long -lost old friends? Well, that's how I felt leaving you all on Sunday - although I had only known most of you for 24 hours! Well 'all good things must come to an end'. Even the HASH on Saturday finally did.

'Iron Lady', our organizer did us proud this year:

The venue, the old Roman city of 'Apt' is steeped in history and surrounded by beautiful scenery, hills and hundreds of vineyards! Just the place for a 'half Marathon' HASH.

About 20 of us met on the Friday already and after a few mandatory formalities, like drinking Sangria, we started on our 'torchlight run', in broad day-light. I think I was the only one stupid enough to carry a torch.

But just where was our organizer? Rumor had it she had been injured setting the run... was it going to be that bad?

The relatively boring start along the main road was punctuated with all manner of 'squeals and 'eeks', plus a few energetic 'skips' from a curious young lady call 'Hormone' (or should it be 'Whore moan'?) Frankly, 'Anal' and I think 'Skippy' is a better name. 'Hormone' gets highly excited at the sight of colourful road-side weeds and cannot contain her 'squeaks'. What pleasure it was for her and others from 'Geneva' to visit this breathtaking part of the world.

The run was considerable for starters, with the usual mucky river segment and a lot of 'up'. It had to be just a little rushed, since the restaurant threatened to close on us. There was little enough flour to completely confuse some participants, who got utterly lost and turned up in the dark, at the end of the circle ceremony - that was the other 'Elaine', 'Higgins' and 'Likk'mm'. Apparently 'Higgins' had already checked out most of the run for Saturday, by mistake, but it did not help us much the next day.

Our circle was initiated in fine style by 'Deep Throat', who exercised his rare talent of actually hitting a tuneful note on a HASH and motivated us to sing along.

Lots of members contributed to some varied 'down-down' suggestions, none of which I can remember. There was a dash for the restaurant afterwards for that sumptuous 'all you can eat' buffet. Judging by the competitions on 'how to load the maximum on a plate', I am sure they lost money with us!

Lesson 1: On our table we all learned about 'Fuel Cells' that evening, from our very own 'Chaos Scientist' 'Jeeves' (he did not need to study it!). Apparently, it is all to do with 'electrolysis' - not removing hairs, but 'reverse electrolysis, i.e. making water from 'oxygen' and 'hydrogen'. Amazing! . We could have done with this on the run the next day.

The disco was curiously quiet and closed when we descended at 22:00. The bar staff believed we would turn up on time. All was not lost though and they returned and enjoyed themselves enough to stay up quite late for us.. only we could not hear the music. But, hey, we needed a quiet night.

Saturday loomed: At 10:00 AM some of us assembled on a sunny, but chilly parking spot.. But where were the others? More to the point, where were the hares? Some stragglers arrived 'just in time', swelling our numbers to about 30 and, finally at 10:40 AM we left.

Lesson 2: I had been warned about 'Anal' and 'Jobsworths'' HASHES.. Take water and pace yourselves! Thank god we did!

After a messy start, where we constantly went wrong, we were soon off UP in to those hills. The sun finally broke through to warm us on our way. Oh boy! It is amazing what you can do when motivated by the landscape and the promise of a 'wine tasting'. We seemed to keep losing the same people, which was fortunate, because at least we got a break waiting for them and a chance to study the small limestone slab huts in the fields.

Lesson 3: These are called 'Bories' and the design dates from ca. 3500 BC.

After a particularly long and tricky 'falsy' (is that how you spell it?), where the 'Young Guns' (Percy and Jeeves) frequently showed off their ability to run effortlessly up hills, without tiring, we all gave in and walked up to an electricity pylon.

Lesson 4: More education from our Greek from 'Geneva'. 'Never walk in the rain under a pylon with an umbrella' because he had tried that once and sparked afterwards.

How disappointing it was not to find the beer here. We still had ages to go for that.

Finally, we found the beer stop around 12:30 PM. It was exactly that: 'Beer' No water for the gasping.

(Note from IL: our GM left the water, juice and chips back at Castel Luberon - it's an old habit - supplies last longer!)

No electrolysis either...reverse or otherwise.

With some already a little 'over-refreshed', we left for the daunting 'Canyons'. Here the signs warned us to keep in the tracks, so why did 'Anal' want us to leave them and check? Furthermore, we were warned that 'Iron Lady' had had a live-threatening fall here.

Some people would give their right arms to see the beauty that surrounded us. 'Iron Lady' gave her left wrist instead. She broke it here.

It was easy to understand how someone could fall there....as we tripped down the dry gullies, stopping here and there to wonder at the spectacular ocre and red-coloured limestone cliffs, appropriately called 'Colorado Canyon'.

Lesson 5: Always wear running shoes with good tread.

With our stomachs growling with hunger, we finally made it to the 'restaurant' (green patch under some trees) for lunch ca 14:00. Here instead of smoked ham, we had the local smoked beer. We were thirsty enough to drink anything, even that. Some of us defected to the coffee bar afterwards, which warmed us up and kept the others waiting in the cold. Sorry about that!

Of course, when the run continued, the only way was up again..... we separated quickly on that route... not to meet again until the next beer stop. It was tough, but beautiful. We were also entertained by the rally of 'Alpine' cars tearing up the country-side as we crossed the road.

Lesson 6: 'Old dogs should never give up. We can still have fun. Even if you are a one-eyed husky mongrel. Said mongrel pursued 'Perlonius' ('Dickinsoon's doggy), until he finally found out what it was all about. Dogs are shameless!

At the final beer stop, some of us defected for the cars and those that continued, were showing signs of slowly ceasing up. The only thing for it was to numb the tiredness with more beer and wine.

As we dragged ourselves away, we found a welcome segment of 'down-hill' trail, which is where it began to spit rain. Fortunately, this was a surprisingly pleasant trot into that elusive 'wine tasting' vineyard close by. What a welcome site that was, too!

'Maneater' was offering an interest-free credit facility, so several of us were able to purchase some wine. Thanks, 'Maneater' I hope you got you money back.

We finally made in back to the Hotel before dusk, losing more defectors on the way. Back at base, some of us went swimming and some played tennis before the circle. Just can't get enough, can we?

The circle was handled admirably by 'Dickinsoon' as 'R.A' and, of course, the singing led by 'Deep Throat' again with great panache.

I have no written record of the 'down downs' but there were three memorable ones: One for the hares, because the run was somewhat long (estimated at about 25 km). Another one for some poor Canadian, who missed the bus on Friday night and managed to spend the most money this weekend, including 70 Euros for a taxi and he had to pay the accommodation he did not use! (Note from IL: paid one night only). So he is now, in fact, poor. Then there was one from our surprising 'Higgins' from Belgium, who produced the most novel drinking vessels ever seen. It was a collection of sick bags, hygiene bags and a strange contraption that women can use for relieving themselves in skiing gear.

Lesson 7: Girls, contact 'Higgins' for a supply of these paper funnels!

We should not forget this occasion was also 'Dickinsoon's' birthday and even his mother was with us to celebrate! We all know what she was up to 32 years ago.

Finally, when we were all sufficiently cold, it was a quick change and off to the party.

This time, after masses of food and drink, we found the bar open and the disco pumping (..ish) and some of us swung our dance legs, in particular our 'chocolate-smooth Higgins' from Belgium and the cool 'Poms' from 'Geneva' really

cut a 'dash' on the dance floor. Later they led a 'table football' challenge between 'Geneva' and the 'Riviera'. To our surprise, the 'Riviera' won it - convincingly. Our 'multi-tasking' hares have many talents.

Next day there was a 'live hare' run through a rather wet 'Apt'. There were a lot of you missing - shame on you!

Most of the participants got completely confused and ran the wrong way round the flour, but what the hell, we all got a beer soon afterwards.

There were some 'down-downs' I can't remember, but a notable one was for a representative from each 'HASH'. We had people from 'Brussels', 'Geneva', 'Paris', the 'French Riviera', 'Bordeaux', the 'Alsace', 'Norway', 'Milan' and 'Barcelona' ... not a bad mix, eh?

Sadly, after a brief farewell circle, it was time to jump in the cars for some and time for lunch for some others.

It was great fun meeting you all and sorry if we did not get to say a formal 'good bye'. But hey, we will all do it again soon, won't we..?

Thanks to 'Iron Lady and her family who admirably jumped in to organize things in her absence, to the hares 'Anal Condom', 'Jobsworth' and 'Dickinsoon' for providing such great entertainment and to all of you for your 'whacky' participation.

So, finally:

Lesson 8: Watch this space for further 'away events' and be there next time!

Also, coming soon...the 'Cyprus Hash' which 'Doggy Fashion' will organise for us.

'On-on' to you all!!!!

Courtesy of 'No Satisfaction' (almost satisfied, this time!)

Trail-setting memories

Some of your literary talent that was still legible!:

• Maggie is plastered again!! Sadist
• Cast the die Jeeves
• No shortcutting Alpine climax
• No Helicopter! Flying Bottom
• Happy Hashing! Deep Throat
• Keep on hashing Doggy Fashion
• Trail abuse by Lady Genicide Anal Condom
• Go for broke! Dickinsoon
• Break a leg Gagarin
• Wonderful trail Hormone
• Bon etablissment...etc...etc...

(This cast was sawn off on 29th April. It's replacement comes off on 21st May - with the pins.  A special thanks to you all. Iron Lady)

The Official '5^th French National HASH Count(s) Report, 2002

'Profit, breakeven or loss?'

This event was budgeted to breakeven with a participation of 40.  In reality we were 35. The NO SHOWS were five.

Cash Reports in Euros

=

190.99

Participants by Country

• Belgium: 1
• France: 19
• Italy : 2
• Norway: 1
• Spain: 2
• Switzerland: 9
• USA: 1

Participants by Hash 

• Geneva: 13
• Paris: 2
• Riviera: 10
• Other hashers: 9
• Visitors: 1

Registered No-Shows

• Paris: Lady-in-waiting, Likes-a-long-one
• UK: Generator
• Geneva: Marie-Noelle Tereins
• Zurich: Waterbaby

Participants with contact information

Name

Hash name

Hash

Country

Contact

1

Maggie Pianti

Iron Lady

Geneva

F

2

Romano Pianti

Padrino

Geneva

F

3

Robert Pianti

Cave Bear

Geneva

F

4

Martin Westmoreland

Anal Condom

Riviera

F

5

Steve Emmotts

Jobsworth

Riviera

F

6

Angela Robinson

Flying Bottom

Basel

F

7

Mike Robinson

Wheelchair

Basel

F

8

Stefan Murphy

Cockapulley

Paris

F

9

Stephanie Duffill

Alpine Climax

Geneva

S

10

Chris Mathews

Alzheimer

Geneva

S

11

Elaine Kassanos

IWIN

Geneva

S

12

Elaine Minter

No Satisfaction

Riviera

F

13

Pierre-Marc Lefebvre

Higgins

Brussels

B

14

James Waddell

Likk'mm

Bern

S

15

Mike Schoen

Mr.Doggy Fashion

Geneva

S

16

Brian May

Padre

Riviera

F

17

Wendy

Big End

Riviera

F

18

Richard Wilson

Sadist

Riviera

F

19

Katy Anderson

Hoarmoan

Geneva

S

20

Victor Egeli

Gagarin

ScandiHolligan

N

21

Jason Taormino

Dickinsoon

Barcelona

E

22

Dale Taormino

Scrotunier

Barcelona

E

23

Mary Taormino

My sister Belinda

California

U

24

Colin Ferguson

Jacque-off-Nouveau

Canada

F

25

Joe Norman

Deep Throat

Geneva

F

26

Vampire TeaBag

Geneva

S

27

James Miners

Jeeves

Geneva

F

28

Debby Fritsch

Paris

F

29

Mary McDonald

Riviera

F

30

Cinzia Macchiavelli

Riviera

F

31

Annie Leander

White Fang

Milan

I

32

Brian Lanrie

Milan

I

33

John Taylor

Riviera

F

34

Dimitri Raitsidis

Herpes

Geneva

S

35

Peter Owen

Riviera

F